The Tale of the Velvet Romeo

Tree sat perched upon the velvet sofa, looking every bit the sophisticated Russian Blue aristocrat. With his shimmering silver-blue coat and emerald eyes, he knew he was the finest catch in the living room—mostly because the only competition was a dust bunny and a squeaky rubber mouse. He was currently preparing for his Valentine’s debut, though his confidence was high. Why do cats always win at video games? Because they have nine lives and great reflexes.

Determined to impress, Tree decided to serenade the household with the song of his people at 3:00 AM. He practiced his scales, hitting a high C that sounded suspiciously like a car alarm, hoping to prove he was a true romantic lead. He figured a little midnight music was the key to any heart. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-ntain of cuteness.

As the sun rose on Valentine’s Day, Tree spotted a vase of roses on the counter. Instead of knocking them over—his usual hobby—he decided to pose gracefully beside them to show off his striking green eyes. He looked so regal that he almost forgot he had a piece of kibble stuck to his chin. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple, obviously.

The moral of the story became clear when Tree finally gave up the “cool guy” act and simply curled up for a nap on a warm lap. He realized that you don’t need fancy poses or loud songs to be loved; you just have to show up and be your sleek, slightly chaotic self. What did the cat say to his Valentine? You’re purr-fect for me.